Is this the girl, the man,
that I should marry?
Abide in Love
The Right One
I am asked by a person in a specific relationship/friendship,
“Sister is this love?”, “Do you think he
really loves me?”... or, “Is this girl really
for me” ?
It is a cry, a longing for assurance, affirmation
and hope that the particular relationship
is actually love, the love one has waited
for, in a word that, “This is it”.
So much that passes for love, in the name
of love in our present culture and society
is a mockery of real love, that is a love
given by God, a love given to fulfill his
purpose, whether it be manifested in the
covenant of marriage, friendship or the
There is a statement, a response to this
question, and questions like it, which is
once illuminating and challenging, and it
is simply this:
Love abides, love remains. In other words,
that which can genuinely be called
endures and abides.
It is a love that is not diminished by storms
and turmoil, suffering and trial. It is
a love that is always, PRESENT and PRESENCE,
it is not apparent one day and absent the
Love is not effusive today and avoidance
tomorrow ... no, real love
abides in all situations and in
all circumstances. As St. Paul
tells us, it
all things, believes all things and hopes
all things. Love never falls away ... ”.
In the Gospel of St. John, we read,
in me, and I in You”, and, “If you keep
my commandments, you will abide in my love,
just as I have kept my Father's commandments
and abide in his love!” 2
Love abides, remains within the Beloved;
it is a mutual indwelling that is constant
... this is Christ's example, his witness
to real, to authentic love:
He abides and if we love Him we will abide
In the same way when we want to ask the
question in reference to a specific human
love, let us ask ourselves ... “does that
love abide? does it remain with me through
thick and thin, through all the vicissitudes
of life, has it stood a test of time?”
If we can say yes, then it in all probability
this is a share in the Divine Life
— and it is real love.
Jesus Christ Himself —
image of the invisible God”
“Who is Love” 4, shows
us the immeasurable depth of this enduring
love — this love for us,
in that He remains forever with us, abides
amongst us in the most Holy Sacrament of
the Altar ... He abides!
HE IS THERE! He is here
... in our midst! “I AM
... I am present, for I am love.”
He is the exemplar of genuine love. Look
no where else, for “Greater
love hath no man.” 5
abides in his Holy Word, He Abides within
his Holy Catholic Church, He has promised
that He will never leave us orphans,
He and his love , abide.
If we can say of any relationship, he or
she does not abide, we must have the courage
to face the reality – that, as well meaning
each may be ... it is not love.
When another truly wants to abide in your
presence, in your life, then rejoice ...
for you are loved indeed!
A Cloistered Poor Clare Colettine Nun
1 Cor. 13.7-8:
ómnia suffert, ómnia credit, ómnia sperat,
ómnia sústinet. Cáritas numquam éxcidit
St. John 15.19:
mea servavéritis, manébitis in dilectióne
mea, sicut et ego Patris mei præcépta servávi,
et máneo in ejus dilectióne"
" ... qui est imágo Dei invisíbilis ..."
4 1 St. John 4.8:
" ... Deus
5 St. John 15.13
"Majórem hac dilectiónem
nemo habet ..." *