Pedophilia: Homosexuality
in a State of Denial
BBC Accuses Vatican
of Calling Balls Round
The Square Balls
Not
Quite a Circular
Argument
The BBC,
reporting on Wednesday, 14 April 2010 — and against all
convincing evidence that it was reporting from the planet Earth — declared
in shock, dismay, and astonishment that:
“The Vatican's handling of child abuse allegations has
been called into question, following a senior cardinal's suggestion
of a link between homosexuality and paedophilia.” (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8621197.stm)
Sometimes,
well, ... it literally takes balls to tell the truth
This outrageous
suggestion followed an equally astonishing allegation, made by the same
Cardinal, and on that very same day, no less, than there is strong evidence
suggesting that balls do not in fact have four equal sides
at four equal angles — as many have now chosen to believe. In fact,
he further ventured, such a description appears to precisely coincide
with the geometric definition of the quadrilateral polygon at one time
called a square. It had traditionally been believed that
balls and circles are different from squares and rhombuses inasmuch
as they define an enclosed shape equidistant in all radii from a common
center.
In addition to
the ludicrous allegations that priests who sexually abuse boys —
rather than girls — are homosexuals, several Vatican officials further
alienated themselves from the world of scrupulously defined fiction
by suggesting that the apparent widespread occurrence of four-sided
polygons in America and Europe have, indeed, a very close relationship
with rectangles. These suggestions infuriated the homosexual communities
in America, Europe and elsewhere which responded by flatly denying as
“absurd” any putative connection between homosexuals and older males
who have sexual relations with younger males, calling Wikipedia's
Definition of Homosexuality: as “a romantic or sexual attraction
or behavior among members of the same sex” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality),
a slap in the face to the Gay Community.
“We are outraged that the Catholic Church should
implicate homosexuals with this rampant state of affairs in which
some priests of the male persuasion seek to have sex
with underage people also of the male persuasion.
There is no connection whatever, as any enlightened individual of
any persuasion or species would immediately tell you”, said Mr.
Sheila Youngblood of AMBLA (American Man/Boy Love Association ),
sipping a glass of pink lemonade, and dribbling a box after a vigorous
round of basketball, exasperated that he had been unable to get
the rubber box through the round hoop despite repeated efforts.
“I'm better at golf ”, he wryly admitted, in an aside, “especially
with a handicap of boxes smaller than the large holes.”
Talk about
Balls
Asked about the
equally outrageous statement that Vatican officials made in suggesting
that the link between homosexuality and pedophilia is somehow akin to
the relationship between roundness and balls, Sheila replied, “It's
Galileo all over again. The Church meddling in things it knows nothing
about! Men who have sex with young males, rather than females,
are not homosexuals! They are just men who have sex with
young males rather than females! What don't they understand?”
he asked incredulously.
Vatican officials have recently come under heavy criticism after publicly
responding to the accusations they made that there is a close connection
between things that appear to be balls and things that are circles.
Gay Community Organizers dismissed this as, Still clinging to antiquated
concepts.” “Look, I mean, these are the people who still talk about
sin and the devil ... I mean, really!”, Queernation Spokespecies, Miss
Ogynyc , retorted dismissively.
Further
Woes
The BBC also noted
that, “On Good Friday, Fr Raniero Cantalamessa, preaching in St Peter's
Basilica, sparked tensions with Jews by quoting a letter from a Jewish
friend that suggested a comparison between the attacks against Pope
Benedict with anti-Semitic attacks on Jews.”
In response, Mr. Wanda Wutzmygenda, Jewish author of
“The Gay Guide to Geometry and Other Absurdities” angrily stated that,
“This is no more virulently anti-Catholic than the Nazis were virulently
anti-Semitic. You might as well say that the shortest distance between
two points is a line!”
If it
looks like a ball ...
When asked for
his reasoning behind the allegation that priest-pedophiles are
homosexuals— that is to say, men who wish to have sex with
other men, seek to have sex with other men, and in fact have sex with
other men — or boys — the Cardinal's response was decidedly speculative:
“If it looks
like a ball, if it bounces like a ball, and if it rolls like a ball
... it is probably a ball.” he replied. “And if a man desires to
have sex with other men and boys, makes arrangements to have sex
with other men and boys, and has sex with other men and boys ...
he is probably a homosexual.”
The
Vatican in the meanwhile is preparing a handbook that deals with the
allegations that priest offenders in the abuse scandals which involve
sex between older males and underage males is an issue
about homosexuality and depravity, as well as similar allegations
that balls are in some way related to circles.
We will continue
to report on this queer story as it emerges.
Editor
Boston Catholic Journal
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Comments? Write us:
editor@boston-catholic-journal.com
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